The answers to your most pressing questions.
Anonymously asked questions.
Sober Soul is a safe place to ask your questions, and I’ll do my best to answer them in a way that’s helpful and all-encompassing. If you have a question about recovery, advocacy, safe workplaces, networking, or other ways where your recovery overlaps with your career, send them over!
“How do I handle networking events where drinking is expected, especially with colleagues or leaders who may not understand sobriety?”
When you’re at a networking event where alcohol flows freely, having a strategy can make a world of difference. If you’re worried about the questions people may ask or being handed a drink you didn’t want, I’ve found it incredibly helpful to ask the bartender in advance for a beverage. My go-to? A cranberry soda with lime!
I do, however, know how tough it can be mentally and emotionally to walk into these situations, and want to encourage you to evaluate your boundaries. “Oh bummer, I already have plans,” and “I’ll be there! But I can only stay for about an hour,” are two phrases I’ve used more times than I can count.
“What are some ways to manage anxiety before high-pressure work events?”
First I’d like to say, you’re not alone in feeling anxious before a work or networking event.
Second, I would highly encourage you to reach out to your sponsor or talk to someone in your recovery network. This is also a fantastic topic to bring up at a meeting.
As someone who travels for work on occasion, I love to go for a walk beforehand and listen to music or a podcast, and then find a meeting to go to after the event (which also gives me a hard stop time).
The best advice I can give is: don’t ignore the feeling of being uneasy; trust your gut.
“People at my office drink in the office and sometimes over lunch together. How do I avoid feeling left out?”
This one hits home for me – I know exactly how that feels. If it’s important to you to be a part of the group, you can offer to drive, bring your own special occasion “drink” to keep at the office, or – and this is my personal favorite – use the buddy system during social hours.
HOWEVER, if you feel unsafe and this is becoming an issue that’s threatening your recovery in any way, I would highly encourage reaching out to someone in HR or leadership. If you aren’t sure what to say or how to approach the topic, let’s talk through what that looks like.
One thing I’ve learned – you’ll lose whatever you put before your sobriety.